Since My Valentine Got A Computer

Since my Valentine got a computer 
My love life has taken a hit. 
Nothing I say is important 
Unless it’s a byte or a bit. 

Before she got her new laptop, 
Everything was just fine; 
Now she says we can’t talk 
Unless we both go online. 

"But honey," I said, "I’m attached to you; 
Love is what I feel." 
"That keyword isn’t relevant," 
She said, with eyes of steel. 

She clicked the keyboard furiously; 
The screen was all she could see, 
And then to my horror and shame, 
She started describing me: 

"Your motherboard needs upgrading; 
Your OS needs help, too. 
And you definitely need a big heatsink 
To cool your CPU." 

"Don’t flame me, my sweet," I pleaded. 
"Not on Valentine’s Day." 
"Fix the bugs, and I’ll see," she said, 
While looking at me with dismay. 

"What ever you want, my darling; 
Whatever you need; you call it. 
I’ll upload or download anything, 
And then I’ll go install it." 

(Her hostile CD keeps replaying, 
And though I don’t want to fight her, 
Is this what I want for a Valentine? 
I’ve been burned; can I rewrite her?) 

"Are you all hard drive now," I asked 
"Is there no software in you? 
Don’t you remember the good times? 
Let our memories see us through." 

"LOL," she said to me, chuckling. 
"You’re nothing but adware. 
"I’ve got four gigs of memory; 
I’ve got no problem there." 

"Please, honey, we can save it," I said. 
"Our love means more than that." 
"That’s not in my cache; we’re going to crash," 
She said, as she turned me down flat. 

(This woman has really changed; 
Do I really want to chase her? 
More and more I’m thinking 
It might be nice to erase her.) 

"Aw, honey, don’t talk like that," I said. 
"Can’t we just plug and play? 
I hereby accept default, 
And I’m yours, my love, come what may. 

My goal is to make you happy; 
I want to be your portal, 
But your sudden, distant coldness 
Would test the strongest mortal. 

If we need a brand new interface, 
So we can FTP, 
I’m your go along, get along guy, 
And I want you to stay with me." 

"If you want to get into my favorites," she said, 
And you want to get past my encryption, 
If you want to get through my firewall, 
Here is my only prescription." 

"First, put up your own Web site, 
And e-mail me when it’s done. 
I’ll check your page rank with Google, 
And tell you if you’re the one." 

My life has become a real trial, 
Since my Valentine got a computer. 
If I want her to care about me again, 
I guess I’ll have to reboot her.

Some People...

A Little Splash

Why Do You Do That?

And Thou Art Dead, As Young and Fair

And thou art dead, as young and fair 
As aught of mortal birth; 
And form so soft, and charms so rare, 
Too soon return'd to Earth! 
Though Earth receiv'd them in her bed, 
And o'er the spot the crowd may tread 
In carelessness or mirth, 
There is an eye which could not brook 
A moment on that grave to look.

I will not ask where thou liest low, 
Nor gaze upon the spot; 
There flowers or weeds at will may grow, 
So I behold them not: 
It is enough for me to prove 
That what I lov'd, and long must love, 
Like common earth can rot; 
To me there needs no stone to tell, 
'T is Nothing that I lov'd so well.

Yet did I love thee to the last 
As fervently as thou, 
Who didst not change through all the past, 
And canst not alter now. 
The love where Death has set his seal, 
Nor age can chill, nor rival steal, 
Nor falsehood disavow: 
And, what were worse, thou canst not see 
Or wrong, or change, or fault in me.

The better days of life were ours; 
The worst can be but mine: 
The sun that cheers, the storm that lowers, 
Shall never more be thine. 
The silence of that dreamless sleep 
I envy now too much to weep; 
Nor need I to repine 
That all those charms have pass'd away, 
I might have watch'd through long decay.

The flower in ripen'd bloom unmatch'd 
Must fall the earliest prey; 
Though by no hand untimely snatch'd, 
The leaves must drop away: 
And yet it were a greater grief 
To watch it withering, leaf by leaf, 
Than see it pluck'd to-day; 
Since earthly eye but ill can bear 
To trace the change to foul from fair.

I know not if I could have borne 
To see thy beauties fade; 
The night that follow'd such a morn 
Had worn a deeper shade: 
Thy day without a cloud hath pass'd, 
And thou wert lovely to the last, 
Extinguish'd, not decay'd; 
As stars that shoot along the sky 
Shine brightest as they fall from high.

As once I wept, if I could weep, 
My tears might well be shed, 
To think I was not near to keep 
One vigil o'er thy bed; 
To gaze, how fondly! on thy face, 
To fold thee in a faint embrace, 
Uphold thy drooping head; 
And show that love, however vain, 
Nor thou nor I can feel again.

Yet how much less it were to gain, 
Though thou hast left me free, 
The loveliest things that still remain, 
Than thus remember thee! 
The all of thine that cannot die 
Through dark and dread Eternity 
Returns again to me, 
And more thy buried love endears 
Than aught except its living years. 

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